Rant

Hey!
I've never been a nice person. I mean, I care about my friends and their well being. But I hate physical contact and when someone tells me they love me. And I also apparently treat people like trash.
I don't treat people like trash. I just call them loads of names and pretend like I don't care.
Here's a secret: I do.
And a lot.
I just discovered this recently. I'm not the type to care. Or miss someone. Or feel hurt by someone's words. But recently they get to me. And I miss people.
Still, I put on this mask that I'm superior to everyone and that everyone is an idiot except for me. Maybe that's a bad thing. Maybe I should try and treat people more kindly? No, not more kindly. I like to think that I am kind. I do care, and I do try and make sure everyone is feeling alright. But maybe I should cut on the name calling and on the cold hearted bitch façade.
However, I've been putting on this façade for so long, it has become part of who I am. Obviously I don't think I'm superior to anyone, it's actually the contrary. But I find myself saying these things like, you're an idiot, you're stupid, you're *insert bad name*, and that's not nice. To have to talk to someone that keeps calling you names and attacking you constantly is not okay. I think everyone that I talk to knows that I'm just joking, but still. It's tiring. And it's not a nice thing to say slash write. So maybe I should try and be more nice. And stop calling people all these bad stuff.
But then again, that's the way I am. It's part of this character I've built throughout the years, this cute and kind person that is actually pretty aggressive and sassy. But maybe it's time to stop it.
Maybe it's time to put an end to the endless bad words and be nicer. More interesting.
I'm not a cold hearted bitch, I'm just really good at hiding it.
I don't even know what this is. I don't really care by now, I'm just bored out of my mind, and writing this stuff seems to help.
Also, my birthday was two days ago and now I'm kinda down. Don't know why. I don't even have motivation to watch GoT. Anyways.
Song of the post: I Found, by Amber Run. This music is magical.
Peace out dragons, and I'll see you later alligator.
Lorac xx