Hey!
So, 2015 is ending, and I obviously had to make a blog post about it because a) I haven't posted in a while b)I'm feeling creative and c) 2015 was a weird one.
I can barely remember how it started, because I have the memory of a goldfish, but I do remember I wasn't in such a good place through the last three months of 2014. But I think that I started to get better in 2015. It was a pretty normal, uneventful beginning of year. I ended tenth grade with good grades and everything was okay. And then summer great, and oh boy, were things great. I went to so many places, met so many new people, learned so many new things, I grew up, and I wouldn't change a things. I did so many new things and I was so happy, and I have never felt more alive than then. Summer '15 was so much better than summer '14, and I was a really happy person in '14, so you can only imagine what I was like. It was such a big surprise because 10th grade didn't start well, and I distanced from James and Ian and the things that made me happy that year that I thought that I wouldn't feel that happiness again. And I didn't feel that happiness. I felt so much more than happiness, I created so many memories, and that's why it was so great. I lived outside my bedroom walls, and it wasn't as bad as they made it seem. Then eleventh grade began, and school began, and John began, and then I wasn't so happy because I thought that having a boyfriend wasn't for me. I broke up with him. And then I realized that I was wrong and we got back together and everything is okay and we've been dating for two months and im pretty sure i love him okay can we stop talking about this now?
2015 was a great overall. I experienced so many new things, and I can't wait to see what next year has in store for me. And I know, that sounds really cheesy and cliche, but I'm looking forward to the rest of my life, and that's a sentence I thought I wouldn't ever say a year ago. So much has changed and I'm so glad for it. I realized I actually like change, and that's great.
Really.
So now I'm off to put up with overly excited people when I'd rather be with John and the rest of this new group of people that I became friends with and they're really cool. I hate new years, I think it's fucking ridiculous how we make such a big deal out of the change of one day. I think it's a good time to think about all the shit you've done throughout the year, but it's not because another 365 days have passed that this is the only day to make a change in our lives, to start something new. It's stupid. Today is as good of a day to change, as is tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. We let the rotation of our planet determine our lives, but fucking hell, we're the ones living it, we're the ones in control. I've made my new years resolutions already, goals that I want to achieve next year, because I didn't achieve them this year. They're reminders of the things that are most important to me, and also, I love making lists. And it's a tradition. But it's just dumb how we cling onto this date, how we use it as an excuse to seek our dreams this year like this is our last chance. It's not. Tomorrow is a day as well. Life doesn't have a fucking expiration date, and we don't need to be dictated by numbers we call days. Time is just a concept we created, if you think about it, it doesn't really affect anything, does it?
I watched mr. robot in a day and that's officially my new favorite tv show. As well as Quantico. I watched that in an afternoon. I'm going mad. I finished got. Finally. I'm happy.
Song of the day/year i guess: Revolt, by muse. That's one hell of a good song, and I think it sums up my year pretty well.
See ya later alligator,
Lorac xx
