So, the
past few posts have been kinda sad and down, so I thought I’d make a happier
post to break the chain. Also because I haven’t posted in a while. I guess.
Guess who
got a boyfriend? I bought it at target for 2,99$, it was a great deal.
Jokes.
There’s not
even a target in Portugal.
But yes.
Lorac is
not single anymore.
And no, I’m
not dating James, much to the sadness of 14-year-old me. His name is JOHN
CENAAAAAAA TOO TOOROTOOOOO
Not, he’s
not John Cena, but he is the John that I talked about that went with us to the
little town festival at night. Yes. That John.
Thinking
about it now, anyone who reads this might think that it was all too sudden, and
I didn’t talk about him enough on the blog. I haven’t. I was actually too busy
living to post it in the blog. But the posts about trying to be nicer and
wanting to rip the skin of my face were about stuff that happened with him.
Yeah, we didn’t start off that good. Stuff happened in this past weekend. But
everything’s fine now, I guess. More than fine, actually.
The thing
is (I say this expression a lot, I need to stop), we started dating four days
ago (WOOP WOOP LONGEST REALATIONSHIP I’VE EVER HAD IT’S A RECORD WOOP WOOP) but
we knew we liked each other for some time. And then stuff got weird. And then
it got fine. I don’t want to go into detail because, even though this is my
blog and sorta my journal, there’s just stuff I can’t write about. At least for
now.
But I think
I like him way too much. I can’t keep my hands of him, and I can’t stop
thinking about him, and wanting to kiss him and breathe him in, and I’ve never
liked anyone this was before, and everything is so new, and what if I’m feeling
too much too fast? What if this is just a thing in the spur in the moment, and
before we know it it’s gone? I don’t want it to be gone. I want this to last
for a while, at least. I feel so good and happy when I’m with him, and when I
talk to him, and I keep thinking that I only like his attention, but my mum
said I’m just overthinking and I should just go with the flow. So I guess
that’s what I’ll do, and when I get to wherever the flows taking me, I’ll tell
you more about it.
I don’t
think I’m in love. I don’t wanna think I’m in love because it’s still too
fucking soon plus previous ‘relationship experiences’ make me doubt every
single fucking thing my brain produces. I know I like him. A lot. And I know I
want to go to FUCKING DUBLIN WITH HIM AND MY FRIENDS AAAAHHH THREE NIGHTS IN
IRELAND CAN YOU FEEL MY HAPPINESS I’VE NEVER FLEW BEFORE, SO THIS IS GOING TO
BE AWESOME but there’s the slight chance of me not going. So that’s sad.
So I’m not
single anymore. That sucks. I was just starting to love the single life. Oh
well. I guess John makes up for it.
And jfc
that boy has the dirtiest mind ever, this is what I have to deal with daily
he’s such a jerk I like him a lot.
Also we’re
in the same class. Everyone tries to grab him to make me feel jealous. I feel
jealous. They succeeded. My maths teacher teased us today.
Life is
weird. I love it.
Song of the
day: the whole ‘Black Lines’ album. Mayday Parade’s new album is just so
fucking great, jfc I love it to death. My favorite song has to be one of them
will destroy the other. It’s so great. Also I can play letting go on the
acoustic guitar and it sounds so beautiful. And Drive, by Halsey, pretty much
describes my life. Halsey is great.
Peace out
dragons, and see ya later alligator xx
PS-this
post is just an update for future me that’ll be reading through this blog in
two years time and regretting all my life choices I’m making right now. I’m
sorry. I’m having too much fun to stop now.
PPS- also
expect a lot of lovesick teenager posts because I feel really creative right
now. Mainly to write in Portuguese, which is my native language, but something
in English may come out of this brain of mine, so I’m sorry in advance if I
make you vomit because of my disgustingly cute words.
Kay baii
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